GIVE IT BACK, EH?

Kyle, the unauthorized relocation of my potato masher to the Great White North has led to this catastrophic, falling-masher-rain event. You've been awfully polite about it, but the mashed potatoes are currently being aggressively violently pulverized by a spatula.

Please return the masher. We need to end this tragedy.

P.S. I checked your hockey bag. It wasn't there.